


Abstraction

by mama murderbear (Genderfluid_Chara)



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Character Study, L is autistic, L is autistic and maybe the author likes to project just a little too much, One Shot, Sorta I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 08:23:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11077728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genderfluid_Chara/pseuds/mama%20murderbear
Summary: Abstraction.Noun.The state of being lost in thought.----L takes a moment to think about how he feels about the newest development in the Kira case.(Takes place during the Yotsuba arc.)





	Abstraction

Rain pattered softly against the windows. Two young men were in the room, silent as the shadows that shifted with the storm clouds. L chewed on his index finger as he considered the person sleeping at the other end of the chain that pulled at his wrist.

Light Yagami  _ had _ been Kira when he went into confinement. There was no doubt in L’s mind about that. He was an exceptional actor, too. Unfortunately for him, L’s mind worked a little differently than the others Light generally interacted with. However, even L couldn't help but find it extremely confusing when his act had suddenly seemed to  _ not _ be one.

There was a sudden flash of light, followed by a loud rumble. L jumped slightly. While he didn't fear thunder or lightning, he certainly was not a fan of either. The combination had a rather unfortunate habit of sending him into a sensory overload if they happened too close together. L reigned his train of thought back in as he started pulling at his lower lip.

L, quite simply, did not know how he felt about this development. He was conflicted enough on the subject without having Light (re?)gain things like  _ empathy,  _ which L had enough trouble understanding on a good day.

He hadn't been lying when he said he considered Light a friend, not really. Light definitely was not his first, though. That honor would always go to Watari. So, he also was not lying when he said he hoped that Light wasn’t Kira, even though the chances were slim to none. It was such a shame when such intelligence had to be locked away or executed. It was always rather difficult, L mused as he grabbed a caramel from the nightstand by his bed and popped it into his mouth, to find people who could match his reasoning but also weren't afraid to call him out on his bullshit.

On the other hand, he definitely  _ did _ want Light to be Kira, from an objective standpoint. L didn't like being wrong, and more than that, he liked when an answer looked complicated at first glance, but was really rather simple if you looked at it from the right perspective, like those metal ring puzzles some of the younger children at Whammy’s were fond of. If the case could have been answered with “Light Yagami is Kira and Misa Amane is the second Kira”, L would have been mostly satisfied.

However, there appeared to be yet  _ another _ Kira he had to track down.

If L was entirely honest with himself, he didn't want to.

Some might call it childish, yes, and he had already admitted that he was childish and hated losing,  _ but... _ more than that, he felt drained. He had spent so much time and effort on this case, only for the prime suspect(the  _ only _ suspect) to suddenly...not be a suspect at all. To anyone else on the case, that is. L  _ knew  _ Light had to have been the first Kira, but without any damning evidence, there wasnt much he could do about it. It was extremely rare for him to reach a stumbling block like this on a case, but the feeling and the drop in motivation was not unfamiliar.

How many times when he was young was he given a task, such as knitting, to keep his hands busy as his mind ran through possibilities?

How many times did he almost complete that task, but in his excitement over figuring out a vital clue, make a mistake that caused the whole side project to unravel?

And every single time, he'd find that he had no energy or desire to redo it just so he could reach the finished product. After a certain point, he gave up and just stuck to stimming without a purpose (other than the point of stimming in the first place and  _ maybe _ putting comfort food in his body).

L sighed, removing his hand from his mouth. He slid under the comforter reluctantly, grabbing one of the extra pillows on the bed, hugging it tightly to his chest and curling around it. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to get his mind to clear enough that he'd be able to sleep. Without access to music and with the added distraction of the lightning, he highly doubted it, but if he could manage a few hours, his reasoning and focus would increase greatly.

Maybe he'd even be able to figure out what piece was missing from the puzzle this case was.

This puzzle wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't like the way most of the Death Note fandom views L because I relate to him a lot. So I decided to post something that might give people a little insight into how I think he thinks.
> 
> I understand that not everyone will agree with my interpretation of his character, but please don't tell me I'm wrong for writing him the way I have, *especially* if you're allistic.
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
